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  Pokecat

  02/08/2016 8:32 PM ·Spoilers

  Psychi searched frantically. [Where is it?] She thought. She searched through bushes, under rocks, in the river, but she couldn't find it. [How could I have lost it? It's really important!] Crash! A gligar rammed into the little espurr "Oww, I'm sorry! Did I hurt you?" The gligar ask frantically. Psychi shook herself. She was fine. She nodded, but the gligar didn't seem to take any notice.

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  Pokecat

  02/08/2016 8:37 PM ·Spoilers

  "I'm so clumsy sometimes..." he kept going on. Psychi turned and continued to look for her lost object. "Hey! You smell interesting!" The gligar told her. [Smell?!] Psychi was confused. Why did he say smell? "Hey, are you ignoring me? I may be blind but I can still tell you're there." Psychi sent out a telepathy [*Oh, sorry! I didn't realize-*]

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  Pokecat

  02/08/2016 8:45 PM ·Spoilers

  The gligar interrupts, "Its fine. I surprise a lot of people. Now, why did it sound like you were talking in my head?" [*That's because I'm mute...I use telepathy to speak instead.*] "Wow, Cool!" [*Yeah, well, If you'll excuse me I need to look for something*] "Let me help!" [*what!? But your-*] "I have other senses, you know. What is it you're looking for?"

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  Pokecat

  02/08/2016 8:49 PM ·Spoilers

  [*It's a gold necklace. A family treasure. Its really important to me.*] The gligar nods "okay! I'll get started!" He glides a little ways away and starts searching. Psychi continues to look. [I'd better get it back before...THEY...find it.] "Is this it?" The gligar holds up something. It's a gold necklace. [*Yes! Thank you!*] Psychi runs and takes it from him.

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  Pokecat

  02/08/2016 8:53 PM ·Spoilers

  "Hey, are you an explorer?" The gligar suddenly asked. [What?] That was random. [*Never really thought about it, no.*] "Oh I thought I'd ask anyway. I guess I'll leave then. I hope to meet you again!" The gligar glides off. [I do too.] Psychi thought to herself. She turned and walked away, thinking about the strange Gligar. End of Chapter 1.

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  EJ

  02/08/2016 8:54 PM ·Spoilers

  well i like it just just keep doing what you do

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  Pokecat

  02/08/2016 8:54 PM ·Spoilers

  *Authors note* [ ] means Psychi is thinking. [* *] Means she is using Telepathy. Any feedback appreciated!

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  Emma

  02/08/2016 9:03 PM ·Spoilers

  that is really good acuity. i gess my tip for you is, show and not tell. it means instead of using words like, "she was very cold" you want to decribe it like, "she saw her breath appear in the air, as she tightened the scarf around her neck" you get the idea, right?

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  TheTRUEgge

  02/09/2016 7:27 PM ·Spoilers

  Okay, sorry if this seems rude, but it's been driving me nuts: Did you ever read my little short story, Forgotten? I think that this is really good!

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  Kaitlyn

  02/09/2016 8:10 PM ·Spoilers

  Yeah, I think I agree with Emma here. I also think that some of the sentence structure could use a bit of work, though maybe that's just me ^^'. Don't get me wrong though! I still like the story and idea regardless ^-^!

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