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08/27/2014 12:54 PM ·Spoilers

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....What's wrong? Would you tell me on AC...?

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If you are not back in 2 days, I will be starting the "diary" again... Hopefully I won't have to... But, I worry.... I just hope you are safe, happy, and healthy and that you didn't forget me in, I would think, your busy life...

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Um... Since you've been gone for 2 weeks, I shall begin the journal again........... Day 1 (or 14): So, my laptop is halfbroken because it may have been a stolen one... Not too happy about that... But, I now have 5 videos with my sister and I let's playing up. Jess invited me to a Soul Eater rp and I had to say no, since, I never watched it... So, I have decided to watch it! I'm on... eh...

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episode 10 atm. My mom wants me to get a job... again... so, I'm looking at some biology courses now. I'm also starting to learn to drive! I think I am slightly ill right now... Probably from helping people at a crowded pumpkin patch.... Well, I hope you come back, love... I'm constantly worried about what happened... All I can do is wait and pray, though...

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Day 2: Vinitia.. Я тоскую без Вас очен... Я вероятно не должен волноваться о Вас критически раненный, опрокидывать, забывая меня, но я делаю... Много... I am trying to learn a bit of Russian since you know my native language and I want to know a bit of yours! The above was done via translation, but, I want to get to the point where I don't have to... I will be gone until Sunday morning, so, if you

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come back during that time, I will be at my grandparents where the internet is iffy... Until then, good bye love!

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Day 3: Still not back... Maybe you had an electrical surge go through your home like European/Asian power grids often do..? My trip to my grandparents beach house was extremely uneventful... It was too cold to swim and I couldn't have swam even if I wanted to for other reasons.. The things I looked forward to the most each day was walking on the beach at night and napping so no one would talk to

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me.. (My grandparents think that they have to talk to me every waking second if I am in there presence, but, I was in a bad mood so I didn't feel like doing that...) I have a journal now and it is filling up well. Mostly random thoughts, sketches, ideas and stuff in it... My mom has told me she wants me to work until the late afternoon around the house so I am a contributer...

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Reading about autism depresses me because I see so much that I relate to or know has happened to me... For example, kids with autism have a higher rate of stomach aches or "bad bathroom breaks". Our genes are literally mutated, the one that controls intelligence mostly. Our fathers were usually older when they had us. The front parts of our brains are 13% larger than normal. We were difficult for

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our mothers to have. We usually can't feel large amounts of pain and if we fall our limbs collapse and we don't respond, but, we are incredibly sensitive to light touches, matierals, and other things, so we usually shy away from cuddles and hugs unless they are with a person we trust or they are tight hugs... Eck, I must be such a bother to everyone.

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Day 4: I am so tired... So much house work I have completed today... And I have even more tomorrow. Yay. This weekend I'll be going to Disney, so, atm, I am planning my outfits and what I wanna do there... Since today was overall boring, here are some facts about my mouth you probably dodn't know! I have to wear a wire/plastic retainer at night and I can sometimes skip wearing it, but, I

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try not to.. I used to have buck teeth, but, after I got braces (which I had for 5 years), the orthodontist put something on my front 2 teeth that literally pushed them together overnight and it was so painful I cried (12 year-old me didn't respond well to that pain..). Later on, at about 14-15, a different orthodontist realized I had an under bite so he put rubber band connecting my back jaws

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and the rubber bands moved my jaw back in 2 days which was also a painful experience.. The one time I had a slight cavity, the dentist asked if I wanted to be numbed by a shot before he drilled and I said no and I would rather feel pain of something grinding into my teeth than a needle... Oh, and I have also dug one tooth that wasn't even wiggling yet in less than an hour with my hands out of my

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gums when a dentist said he would pull it out after I was numbed... I basically created a huge hole in my gum and my mom said I looked so proud holding up my tooth, with blood all on my face, clothes and car seat exclaiming, "Now he won't use a shot on me!" ...

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Day 5: Today, my day consisted of cleaning, cleaning the kitchen, cleaning tables and chairs, cleaning my room, cleaning myself, cleaning my dog, cleaning cleaning CLEANING!! So much cleaning! I so tired now... I bought some pants with my mom... She kept wanting me to buy new pants since the ones I have now are waaaay too loose... I dislike clothing shopping to a certain extent.

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So this is what it's like to have a broken heart..... Either you are Lilith and are putting up a great charade or.... o-or you really are what she said.... I just can't believe it though! You can't be dead! You're my best friend and I love you so much!! You can't have left me.... I... We talked about it before, but, I won't be "taking drastic measures".... My family would be broken and I know you

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wouldn't want me doing that.... If you are Lilith, I will wait it out until you "come back"..... I-if not.... I want to let you know you are the 1st person who ever loved me that I loved back. You are a big part of my life and always will be. I won't forget you... And... and even if I find someone else.... I'll always love you. I promise. *kisses you* This is my final goodbye love... I hope you

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are happy and content where you are at and I have always prayed for you... Thank you for the fun time... I wouldn't trade it for anything... I love you... Good bye love...

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