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08/02/2017 5:53 PM ·Spoilers

Yeahs10

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絵がうまい人を見て、ああすごいなって思うと同時にすごい醜い感情に駆られる。嫉妬だとか妬みだとか悔しさだとか。経験の差だって自分を納得させようとするけど無駄で、その絵が上手い子が年下だとどうしても自分が惨めで消えてしまいたくなる。絵を描きたくなくなる。人から誉められて自惚れている自分が恥ずかしい。恥ずかしい。恥ずかしい。もっと上手くなりたいと思ってもなかなか上手くはなれなくて、悔しくて、辛くなる。絵がうまい人って、ほとんどの人が努力しまくってその努力の塊でできてるんだろうけど、悔しくてたまらない。つらい。自分より絵を描いている期間が短くて自分よりも絵が上手いともう本当に消えてしまいたくなる。

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