*gives the australian baguette guns and alc0h0l* From your aunt Cookie!

COOKIE STOP CORRUPTING THE CHILD- ZACK HONEY IVE JUST GOT A C4LL FROM SHARQ SHE WANTS TO ABDUCT THE KID WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO MAN

I am the best baby-sitter, no objections

*also the canon ost for this post is Kids With guns by gorillaz*

*kidnaps child* I'M GONNA TAKE HIM TO A G@Y BAR AND A CLUB FOR 18+ AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME- *smoke bomb* *breaks through wall right next to the open door*

*K1DNAPS COOKIE AND THE CHILD* NO WE'RE GOING TO SEE BARNEY THE DINOSAUR

I'm ok with this-

Well, as cool as I am I remain just an earthling, so now might be a good time to bust out your moves, sugar, because a Latina Shark just stole the child from yet another Shark- And they DEFINITELY don't say anything about this in ''how to be a dad in 20 steps or less''

DESPACITO-

IT'S IGGY IGGS WHAT YOU GOT?

even better- QUIERO RESPIRAR TU CUELLO DESPACITO DEJA QUÉ TE DIGA COSAS AL OÍDO PARA QUÉ RECUERDES SI NO STAS CON MIGO-

COOKIE THEY'RE NEVer GONNA FIND US THIS KID IS MY SON NOW

Well I mean- Well, we've got time before the child services come here anyway- And I mean we ARE home alone-

ATAR PLEASE DO SOMETHING SOME SERIOUS CHILD CORRUPTION IS GOING ON- WE NEED YOU MY DABBING FELLOW-

@Zack ¯\_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯

Aw come on first Numa steals my husband and now the son I adopted can't I have a nice moment just once umú

@NOTSOBOOTHECHILDABDUCTOR WELL AS ZACK EXPLAINED IN...DETAIL, BAGUETTE IS OUR SON PREPARE TO BE ERADICATED IF YOU DONT GIVE IT BACK-

You know what have the kid I only wanted a nice family but nOOO you like mr sunglasses ùnú I WILl FIND SOMEONE EEELSE *floats away*

But Sharq, look that sounds perfectly fine in theory but- When did yoU ADOPT HIM, ALL YOU DID IS CRASH INTO OUR HOME, TEACH HIM TO SAY F@@K AND B33CH AND THEN YOU TELEPORTED HIM TO A G@YBAR WITH COOKIE WHAT PART OF THIS IS OKAY-

O O F //d1es

I wonder what kangaroo baguettes taste like

I'm just off to the side crying bc I'll never be loved-

wait how does that work tho- is one of you secretly tr@ns, or is there some magic alien shiz going on-

You'll know when you get older, my Dear Cookie-

dude, don't treat me like a child, I've taken ed, and you haven't seen my internet history-

ATAR YOU SPIT THAT OUT RIGHT ONE I WON'T LOSE MY #1 DAD AWARD LIKE THIS OHANDIGUESSTHECHILDMATTERSTOO BESIDES YOU CANNOT DIGEST GLASSES-

ZACK HONEY I'LL HOLD HIM WHILE TRYING TO REMEMBER THE BASICS OF CQC YOU JUST- FIND A WAY TO MAKE HIM SPIT THE KID OUT OKAY-

Dont't Worry Son, we'll fix you- somehow, sooner or later... Gosh darn it,not even the glasses were spared... Zack, think you could lend the boy your crown so he at least has that part covered until we find a solution ?

I'm... afraid that's the best we can do for now. Maybe we could attempt a baguette transplant, as a frenchman I have a natural degree in all french bread-related knowledge. Also, wow Zack, the multi-eyes style really suits you, you should get angry more often, my love.

Eh, it's fine, even as a cyclop, you still look simply adorable. As a matter of fact, one may call you... EYE-CANDY because of that.

You STOP THAT RIGHT NOW- I WILL HAVE you know that we are married now, so you now have to absorb part of my everlasting positivity. Come on, do it, so you can at LEAST be conscious of your own attractiveness. Come on, EYE am telling you.

To be honest the both of you look very cuddly,and Hug-able, absolutely no argument there.

Oh woops I ACCIDENTALLY MISSED MY SUBWAY STOP BY LOOKING AT MIIVERDE, HAHA TIME FOR DADDY LOST HIS STUPID SELF IN THE PARISIAN SUBWAY-

So the next logical step is a group cuddle, right ? I actually bought some baguette earlier and by pure french power I have restored our son ! So, hooray, celebration !

*bUSTS THROUGH DOOR SINGING GASOLINA* AM I CUDDLY?!

YOU MOST DEFINITELY ARE, COOKS (Also Dont touch the child. Dont you DARE. Also 69th comment-)

Imma touch the child-

Don't do IT'T. Dooooon't DO IT, I'M HOLDING MY SAX, COOKIE

Um guys, your son got into my shroom collection and now he's trippin b@11s.

Cookie what the FLIPPEDY DENGUS WHY DO YOU HAVE SHROOMS IN THE FIRST PLACE

Don't ask how I got them- I'd be more worried about the dru.gged child.

NUZACK BAGUETTE JR. NOOOO DROP THAT-

I'd be worried about the purple ones he's bout to eat, those can be poisonous if you eat too many-

Cookie I SWEAR-

What did I do?

*angrily points at son suffering epilepsy and various spasms*

lol, I'm not in charge of the child you're just a bad dad, lol. *moonwalks and dabs away*