Drawings

Animal Crossing: Happy Home Designer Community

TripSikyanakotik

02/02/2017 7:36 PM ·Spoilers

Yeahs30

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Tipper is Today's Client! Let's walk through the process of making her a dairy fit for a queen!

Yeahs1

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'So … Tipper, was it? It seems a little strange to hire an interior designer for a farmhouse.' "You're kidding. Last I checked, it's still a house. It just has … half-a-dozen cattle living there too!" Yeah. The town's been developing so much as an urban area, it's easy to forget there's so much workable farmland on the outskirts … "Pasture, dear! Big difference. I'm not growing crops out there."

Yeahs1

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'Well, this should be an interesting change of pace for you, tiger.' Actually … Why don't you take this one, Lottie? 'Really? You don't want to try some farm fresh milk?' I'm lactose intolerant, actually. You'd appreciate it more. 'That's, uh … good to know! Okay! I'll take the case!' … 'Wait a minute, I've seen you eat cheese!' I can handle cheese …

Yeahs1

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So … just to be clear, we're talking about the big kinda cows, right? "Of course! You didn't think I'd be milking myself, did you?" That … was my second question, actually. … "Okay, leaving behind how disgusting that idea is, only pregnant and nursing mammals produce milk! I'm not ready to be a mother yet." Oh. Somehow I thought it was different for cows … N-not the "you" kinda cow, the other …

Yeahs1

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Wow, this is confusing. "I'm a 'bovine'. I raise 'cattle'. It's simple, really." Okay, that makes sense. It must be pretty weird, though, being … "like" the animals you raise. "Not at all! You see a lot of bovines in the cattle industry. Cattle generally trust bovines more than humans or other animals, which is especially important in dairy: A happy cow produces better milk."

Yeahs1

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"It's also easier for me to read their body language. So I always know when a cow is upset because they need to be milked, or if they just want to be left alone. That's important to know if you don't want your head kicked clean off!" Heh, s-so … you take really good care of your cattle, then? "They're more than my livelihood, Lottie! They're my little darlings." Little? "Okay, big darlings."

Yeahs1

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"Still, it does raise some strange questions." What kind of questions? "Well, the cattle I raise aren't wild animals. They've been domesticated. Continually bred and selected to be superstars at milk production. We know exactly where they came from." Those aren't exactly … "So where did I come from?" … Uh, wow. Now that's a good question.

Yeahs1

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Well, it's evolution, right? "As far as I know, there isn't some evil cabal of farmers somewhere who decided which of my ancestors should breed. So why did I 'evolve' to resemble a species that didn't even exist before sapient intervention?" Um … b-because there's an advantage to having … cow empathy? Bovines have been around a long time … "The Holstein breed has only been around for 2000 years."

Yeahs1

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Holstein? "Me. I'm a Holstein. Two millennia isn't exactly yesterday, but it's way too little time for 'evolution' to be a reasonable explanation. I mean, genetically speaking I should be a primate, not an ungulate! I have more in common with you than my cattle!" Oh, w-well, I guess that means your bovinity is mostly superficial … Wait, how many stomachs do you have? "One." Yeah, superficial.

Yeahs1

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"That's not exactly an explanation …" I guess it isn't. But I really don't think a designer is the kind of person you'd turn to if you wanted answers. "That really isn't why I brought it up, Lottie. Just … haven't you ever wondered where you came from? Why you're an otter and not … something else?" Huh. I never really thought about that. It's like animals have always been around.

Yeahs1

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I mean, what would I be if I wasn't an otter? A human? I can't even picture myself as … Oh wait, there it is. Yeah, I'd be pretty adorable, wouldn't I … A-anyway! I wouldn't worry too much about it. "You have to admit it's pretty strange." Well, the "why" might mean a lot to a biologist, but doesn't really impact us all that much. Whatever else we may be, we're still people!

Yeahs1

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We have our own lives to lead. So maybe we shouldn't worry so much about things that far out of scope. "… Maybe you're right. Still it's interesting to think about." Yeah, I guess. But right now, I'm thinking about that fresh milk! "Oh? Sorry, my darlings are still on the old farm. They wont be here until next week." … So … can we grab mango lassis at Canberra's instead? "Oh! That sounds fun."

Yeahs1

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All done! You can stop by Tipper's Farm at HHN address 0205-5792-714, or by scanning that QR code. Have fun designing, everyone! … Okay, it's still kinda bugging me. Although somehow I really doubt we'll ever get an answer … Eh, it's probably for the best.

Yeahs2

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"But haven't you ever wondered …" 'H-hey, I'm not part of your mammal club, okay!' "So you're really okay with the explanation that you're actually a highly unusual species of kangaroo?" 'H-hey! Do I look like a kangaroo to you!?' " don't know, do you?" 'Here's a question for ya. Who has four thumbs and is getting tired of this nonsense? This girl!' Sigh … —————

Yeahs3

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The real mystery is why any respectable cow-raising bovine family would name their daughter Tipper.

Yeahs4

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