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06/05/2017 9:58 PM ·Spoilers

Last night was awful. I realized it had been just over a year since I had met someone. A year since I met someone who made me so freaking happy. Someone I went through a lot with in that one year. Those things probably changed and affected me a lot more than they did her. I'm the one that changed her. But that's not the point here. So much has happened in one single year.

Yeahs32

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Ironpyke

06/05/2017 10:22 PM ·Spoilers

Make sure they know how you feel, sometimes they can at least show some care that way, maybe in a way that could be cathartic and maybe replenishing...

Yeahs2
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★Sage★

06/05/2017 10:23 PM ·Spoilers

But sometimes I wonder if it's all a lie. I wonder if people only pretend to care about me. I don't know why. It's just, sometimes I feel completely worthless to everyone. Last night all of these thoughts, and more, hit me like a ton of bricks. I was crying so hard I was shaking. Yet I had to keep my sobs silent so as not to wake my sister, who shares a room with me.

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Yeahs2
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★Sage★

06/05/2017 10:31 PM ·Spoilers

I couldn't stop shaking. I was breathing so hard it was more on the verge of wheezing. I've broken down before, but never that bad. The last thing I remember before I blacked out is sobbing violently while curled up in a ball on the floor. But I didn't hurt myself. Because behind all the voices screaming at me about how useless I am, I could hear Michael telling me not to do anything stupid.

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Yeahs2
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★Sage★

06/05/2017 10:37 PM ·Spoilers

Sometimes all he has to do is listen. And it helps me feel better. Sometimes he doesn't even say anything. He just hugs me quietly. And last night there was nothing I wanted more than to feel his arms around me. I love him so freaking much. And it's nice, really, how his girlfriend doesn't mind our close friendship. She understands.

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Yeahs2
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★Sage★

06/05/2017 10:40 PM ·Spoilers

She's much nicer than She-Who-Shall-Remain-Unnamed-But-You-Know-Who-You-Are. I've told She-Who-Shall-Remain-Unnamed how I feel about her, but I was turned down. Rather harshly at that. Clearly she's straight I guess. :/ but still.

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Yeahs2
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★Sage★

06/05/2017 10:41 PM ·Spoilers

And I'm probably going to have another breakdown tonight, but who cares anymore. I don't know how to feel anymore anyway.

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Yeahs2
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Duсс

06/05/2017 10:45 PM ·Spoilers

;-; i cri evrytim

Yeahs1
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★Sage★

06/06/2017 6:31 AM ·Spoilers

I don't know if she meant it or not, but I feel like she did. She never listens when I tell her how I feel about the way she treats me. Maybe that nice girl I met a year ago is dead. I don't care. There's still good in her somewhere. But I just feel like giving up. ī ωαητ тσ ğįνε υр οη эνξяγтħıηζ.

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Yeahs1
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ςαłτмαςτεя

06/06/2017 6:59 AM ·Spoilers

I just wanted to say, I feel Incredibly sorry for you. ;-;

Yeahs2
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★Sage★

06/06/2017 7:50 AM ·Spoilers

You know what? I bet She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named will see this post, think I'm doing it for attention or something, and yell at me. Like she always does when I talk about FEELINGS.

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Yeahs1
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★Sage★

06/06/2017 8:00 AM ·Spoilers

If I promise to call her, and I forget, or things come up, I feel awful. But she doesn't even notice my absence! She used to call me at 3 am. She'd call me as soon as she got home from school. She never calls anymore. I used to smile whenever I heard the phone ring because I knew it was her. Now I only weep inside because I never see her number on the screen as the phone announces who is calling.

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Yeahs1
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★Sage★

06/06/2017 8:05 AM ·Spoilers

ωυβßαłůвβαdυβdυв~

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Yeahs1
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Ironpyke

06/06/2017 8:23 PM ·Spoilers

I can't tell you you are worth something, I don't think that would help you, and I don't think really anything else so far has made anything much better but Micheal (was it?)...I'm not going to say I understand how you feel, or what the fix is to your problems but what helped me was music, I fell in love with it so much I married to my "job" as being a rodey! It's something I feel good doing, and

Yeahs1
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Ironpyke

06/06/2017 8:26 PM ·Spoilers

When I feel down I remember I have my career which may not be much, especially since the band is only local but it's a lot more than what I could say last year, and even a couple months ago... My point find something, some expressive medium, pick up a hobby or something or someone and have that be the center of your life something you know you could only heal from, from just serving to it, music

Yeahs1
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Ironpyke

06/06/2017 8:28 PM ·Spoilers

Again I'm not too clear about you or whatever and I'm not saying it's definite, but it certainly worked for my problems and I can I see I have future in this! I'm excited to know one day I'll be writting- I'm learning the guitar and soon I'll be on my own with my own thing, it feels good. Setting goals and accomplishing them through something you love doing

Yeahs1
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★Sage★

06/24/2017 4:02 PM ·Spoilers

To those of you who supported me on this post, thank you all very much. I truly appreciate it. You all are living proof that not all of society has gone to s***. And you two that commented about We Are Number One, and that dude that made a meme reference, I can't tell if you're just really weird people with strange ways of showing support, or if you're just tro||s... :/

Yeahs2
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