Oh man I'm so sorry... I hope you'll be okay. I sort of feel the same way, not that I really want to talk about myself but, I lost my great grandfather when I was very young. I wish I knew him now that I'm older but he got really sick and died... Of course, he died at an old age. He was a pilot in WWII and got to be around for a long time. It is painful not knowing them well, but the best thing-